Guys, I have a really big (you’ll get why that’s funny in a second) secret to share with you.
I know now I’m supposed to hide my head in shame, or tell you all about my plans to change it, or basically say anything but what I’m about to tell you.
And that is that it’s ok. Fat is a part of my life for a variety of reasons including but not limited to once growing a tiny human.
But over the years it’s stopped me from doing a lot of things. One of those things has been pictures. I’ve spent the last three years avoiding any pictures of something other than my face, taken at exactly the right angles, in exactly the right lighting. I’ve untagged unflattering photos of myself on Facebook that made me cry more times than I count. I’ve looked in the mirror and hated myself and what I’ve seen.
The past year of my life has changed me. If I spent all my time hating my body for the way it looks and the things it can’t do I would probably never get out of bed. I’ve decided to start counting the things it can do, like starting a successful business, comforting my daughter, and supporting families both emotionally and physically through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
Which led me to the realization that my body is kind of awesome.
One day about a month ago I was looking at the pictures on my walls with my daughter naming people and realized, we hadn’t had family photos taken since she was born.
I don’t have photos of me holding my one year old, or six month old. She will never be able to see what we really looked like as we stretched and grew together. I didn’t have any nice photos with my husband either.
How was this fair to them? They both love me, and my body. What if I ran off the road tomorrow and they didn’t have a physical form of these memories? I was letting my body image problems effect the people I loved the most and denying them something they should have. I wasn’t exemplifying the body positive lessons I wanted my daughter to learn.
I discussed it all with my husband and booked a session ASAP.
And guys the pictures are AMAZING. I know they are something I will treasure forever and something my daughter will be able to look back on and see. And she won’t see “fat mommy” (not that there is anything wrong with that). She will see the arms that rocked her to sleep, the lips that kissed her goodnight, and the chest she buried herself in when she hurt herself. She’ll see how much mommy and daddy loved each other and how they made each other laugh. She’ll look back at these and see the woman that loved her unconditionally.
So you, beautiful person reading this that may not always love what you see in the mirror, I urge you to look at yourself from the perspective of the family that loves you. Move out from behind the camera and capture these moments in time so you and your loved ones can look back on them forever!
Check out Thistle + Lace Photography on Facebook!