You probably remember telling yourself during pregnancy how little things were going to change. You would still dress the same, your house would be just as clean, and you would hang out with all the same people. You would do it all easily with a tiny human in one arm and your magic wand in the other hand because that’s the only way that is happening. You’ll trade your old clothes out for something you don’t mind getting spit up on and that fits your postpartum body. You may start to wonder if someone put one of those duplicating curses like in the Bellatrix’s vault from Harry Potter on your kids’ toys because you are basically drowning in them and while the best of your friends will stay around you’ll find yourself scoffing at their suggestions of leaving the house after 8 PM.
Unfortunately, you’ll also find that babies aren’t exactly connoisseurs of conversation and hopefully you won’t find out just how lonely being a new mom really can be. It’s hard when something is literally depending on your body to live. From breastfeeding to bottlefeeding and late nights with interrupted sleep you may find that you can hardly get in the shower let alone get ready for a night out. You need people in your life that get it.
You need people that understand why you live exclusively in yoga pants now and have gone through an entire bottle of dry shampoo and cheap wine (ok more than one) in the last week.
So how do you find those people, the ones that will get it?
I’ll tell you.
1. Hang out at Target.
No really. I’m not joking. You’ll have equally as much luck in Starbucks and near the yoga pants as you will in the baby section. And that dollar section?!?! It’s basically the mom version of the bar. Look for the mom with the box of wine in her cart and tell her that you’ve had that kind of week too. Become mom BBFs forever.
2. Look for local Facebook groups.
There’s probably about a bajillion of them. It’s a good way to test the waters and see which group you have the best rapport with. After you’ve lurked long enough to be comfortable utilize that group events feature and put together a playdate! It doesn’t matter if your baby can play yet or not, trust me. Everyone just wants to drink coffee and not look at that pile of laundry again today no matter where that happens.
3. Reach out to your friends that you lost contact with after they became parents.
They won’t be weird about it I promise. They were there too at one point. They get it.
4. Go to a Mommy and Me class.
If yoga isn’t your thing they have stroller fitness classes and even painting!
5. Go to a Mom 2 Mom sale.
These are real things. Moms take their gently used baby stuff and sell it to other moms in a group setting, kind of like a mass garage sale. Are you seeing the theme here? If it has the word “mom” in it GO!
6. Find out if your church/ temple/ mosque/ community center has an established group for moms.
A lot of them will already have something together. These types of groups are great because you already have at least one thing in common and often share some sort of belief system with one another. If there isn’t one yet, start one!
How did you make your mom friends? Leave your suggestions below!